I KNOW OUR LOVE WILL SURVIVE

Today I am full of those tender emotions

Staring you with dove like beautiful eyes

You are the only object of all my adorations

Inspiring all my lovely smiles

You are the wind who picks me up & sways me around

Making me feel as soft & light as a feather

Embrace me in your warmth & let happiness surround

Let me pick these moments & gather

Don’t remember the past, don’t know whats there tomorrow

Lost in this very age of our togetherness

There is only love, love & love around, no place for sorrow

Feels great to be a subject of your fondness

And then I know there is more to come

Can see many hopes come alive

Even if life turns troublesome

I know our love will survive

The Falling Nest

When two birds meet, they make a small nest. Their home, their haven. Make love, lay eggs, hatch them, crack them, feed them, raise them till they grow and leave the nest. The two birds fly away till the next season arrives. But then what happens to the place where they created a beautiful family together? Meanwhile, wind, heat & rain destroy that emblem of love. Do the birds really care? But we humans do. We have a habit of getting attached to almost everything. Our first bag, first book, first pen, first love letter, favorite cap and old greeting cards - we almost cry if any of our prized possessions seemed to go lost. The biggest object of attachment is the houses we live in. Especially the ones built after years of handwork, misery, budgeting, compromising & sacrificing. The kind of houses middle class posses with great difficulty, when they are in their middle age.

Shayamal aunty was definitely one of them. She was married when she was seventeen. Had never seen any other man, other than her father before, before her marriage. Balram uncle, a poor middle level officer in a poor government office, an adorable husband and a good father. This is what middle class people are made of- good morals, good relations, everything good yet live in misery.

Their’s was a beautiful life. Two daughters, as beautiful as their mother. Were sent to reasonably good schools, good colleges. They grew up to become smart working women. Find their suitable partners, got married & went to different countries. Leaving the two love birds alone all again. So many years had passed so many memories, many disagreements & fights yet they grew fond of each other even more with every new year. 30yrs of togetherness & many more to come, may be. May be not.

It was their 31st marriage anniversary. As always, their plan was to watch a movie then dinner & a long drive. Movie was nice and so was the dinner. But the long drive was their last drive together. They met with an accident on the highway. Thanks to a drunk driver

Shyamal aunty was a brave heart. She took this devastating fact very gracefully & started living alone in her house, which her husband had made of her, to keep her safe & secure. Safe from the cruel world outside, secure from all the insecurities in the world. Both daughters insisted on her staying with them but she simply refused to leave the house. Was really fond of the place. Everything in there reminded her of him. She could feel him all around the place.

Fifteen years passed away. Daughters couldn’t visit her anymore. Neighbors were too busy to think about the old woman. And as a strong woman, she hardly attracted any sympathy or help. She was too happy to stay alone, left out, independent. But that house was not in a very good condition. It had grown old. The walls and the doors were swollen because of seepage. Last earthquake & the fragile state of the house had brought several cracks in the walls & the ceiling as well. But Shyamal aunty would not see those cracks from her poor eye sight. No body had an idea about the sorry state of the house & the risk which was growing on her head with every day
In one of the rainy seasons, a piece of ceiling came off. It was then that she realized the deteriorating state of her home. The home which she & her husband had created together. It was an emblem of their love. But when their love could never fade why this emblem had to?
.Though she had an option of going to her daughters & keep herself safe. But this house & her attachment to those bricks were more than her attachment to her own life. She just couldn’t leave. After every rainy season the house would grow weaker.

After one such rainy season, one earth quake hit the place. The intensity was not very high, but the house gave up all its remaining strength & came falling down on the ground. Shyamal aunty, though had a very option of stepping out of the house, she just sat there in that rocking chair which belonged to Balram uncle. Nobody in the neighborhood noticed the possibility of her death. It was only after days of daughters being unable to talk to their mother, that a complaint was lodged. When the police came with the M.C.D & the debris was removed. There she was sitting on the chair, white hair, face full of wrinkles yet beautiful. And more beautiful was her smile which could still be seen on her peaceful face

Dream - a mechanism which heals you from within

Last night was a horrible one. Suffered a heart break. Saw my love saying goodbye & leave with another heart. I cried like a helpless child for hours till all my tears dried. Never felt so helpless before, never felt so devastated. Never felt so lonely, rejected & broken. Never felt so unwanted.

There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to stop the disaster. All I could do was to endure. Unbearable it was. Deeply darkly painful. If it had been for few more minutes, my life would have been at stake. Thankfully, my morning alarm alarmed & I was wide awake.

I was grateful to my watch & grateful to God that it was a dream. Remembering my single status, I felt relieved. I felt calmer, brighter & a lot happier. Stayed cheerful the whole day but yet couldn’t forget the dream

In the evening, I picked up my dream diary & started writing this one as well. When I had finished writing, I turned some pages to read some of my old dreams

Some dreams were very beautiful; some were extremely passionate & romantic. Some were very useless & strange. And the remaining were either nightmares or extremely horrible nightmares. Some had also acted as inspiration to some of my short stories. Whereas some evoked prose. Some were so beautiful that they had to be carved into a poem.

Then I tried going deep & remember my emotions before & after these dreams. Could not remember all but the ones I remember were enough to lead me to a discovery.

All the days in which I was either ill, unhappy, extremely sad, depressed, disturbed, or hopeless, I was gifted with pleasant dreams. And I always felt a little better the next morning.

But then there were very few dark days in which I was at the height of depression. I was gifted with the most horrible dreams. But again in the morning, I felt better & thankful to the fact that it was a dream. As if someone telling me
“life can get worse, you are facing nothing. Get up and be thankful”

The days I was over excited, over joyous, happy & hopeful, I would again see nightmares. This would make me cautious & kept me emotionally balanced.

I was in a way living another life in my dreams. This life was extreme but it kept me balanced in my real life. It seems as if a hidden faculty keeps you safe, heals you& prepares you for the life ahead

When you are physically hurt, your blood cells start working extra & try to heal your wound. When you have a viral attack, body raises its temperature while fighting the virus. Similarly, we all have a mechanism present in our psyche which tends to heal our mind from within. It is perhaps the malfunctioning of this mechanism which leads to insanity

So next time when you dream, even if its your worst nightmare, remember its healing you from within.

BE JUST TOWARDS YOURSELF- BREAK IT FREE

“A man made of substance”
The one who thought of this phrase was definitely not talking about “ a man” & if he was, then I would love to differ.
Men are made of substance & so are women. We all are made of some or the other substance. And we all surely know what substance we have in there.
This substance within, is not a work of a day or two. It’s a product churned out of all the experiences we had, the lessons learnt, the messages understood, conclusions made & decisions taken.
That is what I am talking about. Now when we all know what we are made of, as we have created it ourselves, why do we dislike it? I mean the substance. If you say “no we don’t”, I would say “then why do you keep hiding your real self?”

We try so hard to imitate someone else’s style, someone else’s ideology, someone else’s statement & we never care to look what we really are.
We never care to experience & justify our own real personalities but keep imposing some alien substance on our selves. Our real substance tries to break free & come out to show its real colors. But then we chain it & store it deep down inside, lock it up & throw the keys somewhere away.

You try to be just towards everyone & everything. Please try to be a little just towards your self & break it free.

No Progression But An Irretrievable Fall

I wonder why my soul was chained

When I should have been running free

Why was I pushed in the darkest of the darkness?

Where I just couldn’t see

Leaving me defeated and abashed

 In the middle of nowhere

With loads of disappointment & depression

Thickly filled in the air

This dark horrible torturous place

Was no less than an abattoir

There was no outside force fighting

But a silent inward war

It was a huge & impossible discipline

To suffer & learn surviving skills

All those who undergo this path know

That if you wish to survive, you must kill

Saw it, learned it, and faced it,

Been there, did it all

But then I suddenly realized

That it was no progression but an irretrievable fall

An Important Lesson Learnt

In the summers of 2007, a small group of college friends decided to go on a pilgrimage trip to Sri Griraj ji. One had to walk 21kms to reach the place of worship. The group reached the place at midnight and started the journey barefoot. This time of the year was very unfriendly for the pilgrims. In fact, there was hardly anyone on the rood except this group & a handful of Sadhus. There was a set of twins, Amna & Kamna, who belonged to this group. Kamna was a fun loving & an extremely adventurous girl whereas Amna was a polite & homely girl. They both were very fond of each other & could never see each other in pain.

While the group was walking together, some picked up pace & rushed ahead from others. Kamna was in the lot. Amna, out of any sort of physical activity, was walking very slow & belonged to the last set of the people. They had been walking for one and a half hours without even a single stoppage. Amna, meanwhile, thought of resting for sometime, gain some strength and then catch up with her group. All members of her college group had moved ahead. It was only Amna who was left behind. She had closed her eyes, and could feel her soul palpating. It was not the tiring walk, but an unusual anxiety which was killing her. She started hallucinating about Kamna being attacked by a tiger. Dark night and such unpleasant vision was making her restless. She wanted to walk fast, reach her sister and see if she was all fine.

Gathering all her stamina, she stood up and started walking again. There was none to be seen around. Not even single human but giant trees. She felt them staring at her. She was not even sure if she was on the right way. She had already walked for 2 kms since, without even a single trace of life. All sort of horrible voices, coming from the jungle were haunting her all the more.

After some more time of useless wandering, she saw a man walking wearing saffron colored clothes, seemed to be a Sadhu. The mere presence of this stranger relieved her of almost all her anxieties. She was at least on the right way and had a possibility of meeting Kamna if she walked faster. This was some thing she simply can’t. Not at least with those blistered foot. But it hardly bothered her. All she was thinking of was Kamna & her well being. The man in the saffron notice her disturbed & asked what was her concern. If she was lost as she was all alone. Amna almost instantly blurted out all her anxieties & even about that bad vision she had sometime ago. She asked that man if such hallucinations were of any significance as she had never had them before but only on this pilgrimage.

The Man in the saffron said, almost preaching like some saint “no matter ho much we love our loved ones. No matter how much we care for them. We can never save them from the harsh lessons of life. Life has its own way of teaching and one must never intervene” what was he implying at, she had no clue. Finding her all the more puzzled, he said in a very soothing voice “you must not worry lady. Everything will be fine in the end. And there will be a n important lesson learnt”. This relieved her of all worries. She felt the feeling of detachment.

After walking for another two hours together, they heard loud voices. They rushed ahead to see what was happening. At a distance, they saw a group of people running away in all directions, crying out for help. Within a minute, there was no one to be seen in the scene but a ferocious tiger attacking a girl. There stood a short little girl with a huge stick in her hand fighting against that huge beast. What a deadly scene, but deadlier was the fact that this girl was none other than Kamna. Amna was dumbstruck when she saw her darling sister ready to be hunted down by a wild beast. She cried out aloud & tried to run to save her sister but the man in saffron held her by her hand. She tried to break free & run towards Kamna but then the man repeated his own words in a grave voice “we can never save them from the harsh lessons of life”. With her tearful eyes, she could not see anything happening in front of her. Meanwhile, Kamna miraculously kept on fighting the tiger for another couple of minutes till someone from the forest department shot at the beast. Amna was relieved to hear a gun shot. She could now see Kamna standing alive beside the dead beast. Amna felt her held hand loosened. With a smile on her face, when she turned to look at the man in saffron, she found no one. The man had appeared from nowhere and disappeared in the air. But Amna could still remember his words

“Everything will be fine in the end & there will be an important lesson learnt.”

Don’t Leave It To The Next Moment, It May Never Come

Sometimes, silence is the biggest key. Please don’t try it in your relationship till you are 100% sure of its strength & durability.

This was not the first time they did it to each other. Giving each other a silent treatment was the aftermath of several huge fights they had. Well, they were too fond of each other to have frequent fights, but such abrupt eruption of emotions, from both the sides, were inevitable. But then one must clean one’s heart of all emotional clutter sometimes.

When she woke up next morning, after a head banging fight last night, she was determined to make him pay for it with his tears. Blame it to the revengeful nature of women, but this time it was justified as the mistake was entirely his. Well, those who are curious about the reason of the fight- forget it. Its not worth a narration. Couples fight over silly things. Do we really need to know all?

Out of habit, she made tea & took the tray to the bed. Before, she could cry out for him to wake up, she stopped & gazed at a piece of paper. She moved towards that piece of paper with the cup in her hand. Oops! No pens around. What better place than her husband’s pockets. “Here is your bed tea” written on a small piece of paper was kept at the bedside accompanied with the precious cup of Bed Tea.

When he woke up, which was already an hour late than his usual time, he was fuming. No, not because he was already late for the office, but because his Bed Tea had now become cold Tea. Asking for another cup was against the rule. What rule? – The rule of fighting. You can’t surrender so easily. No Bed Tea- beginning of a perfect disaster. Now those who are fond of Bed Tea, would surely understand. She had played her first move & now it was his turn. What better than wasting away her favorite piece of crockery? Phew..... There goes the saucer & the cup, out of the window. Here too, the lady had already acted smart. The cup was the only one left in its set & was of no use otherwise. She knew it would happen. She had been keeping such useless pieces for such rare occasions. The husband’s reply written on the other side of the paper was “...goes up in the air.”

Next was the breakfast on the table with another note “BEWARE: Food tastes bitter when having with a swollen Ego” & then the husband’s reply was “Ego stays & about food, you can find it in the bin.”

She was to go out shopping that day. She always did on such occasions. To let out her anger may be or to shock him with the unexpected expenditure. Text messaged him “Going out for shopping. Do you need anything?” He replied “Yes, I need a better version of wife. The old one is troubling too much. But your taste is too bad. I think I will shop it for myself. Meanwhile, you buy some brains for yourself.” This was all going wrong. All she wanted was for him to realize his mistake but he was making more, that too boastfully. Thinking about all this, she did not realize when did she reach the middle of the road & got hit by a truck. Agree, women have no road sense. Here is a Lesson for all Women –

 “LEAVE YOUR WORRIES & EMOTIONS ON ONE SIDE OF THE ROAD & THENCROSS”

When she regained her consciousness, she was in a hospital with several injuries. Surprisingly, her phone was still tightly gripped between her bloody fingers. Send another text message “I am in the City Hospital. Got run over by a truck.”

He was half dead when he read the message. There was no one he loved more than her. She was the centre of his existence. He blamed himself for it all. If he would have ended the fight in the morning, she probably wouldn’t have gone out. If only he had said sorry & kiss her in the morning, like he always did, she probably would have been fine. Next moment he was in the hospital. Sobbing like a child in her lap. Making promises that he would never fight with her ever gain & that he would love her more than he ever did. Promised to take her wherever she wanted to go. And never reply her silence with silence.

So the moral of the story is determination pays. Didn’t she tell you that she would make him pay for it with his tears?

Naaaaaaa. The moral of the story is, talk as much as you can. Don’t leave it to the next moment. It may never come.

You Are The Change

One generation’s dream becomes insignificant reality for the other generation. The dream of a free nation our ancestors had seen, what significance it carries for you and me. May be an alien feeling which erupts inside on 26^th Jan or 15^th Aug every year or may be when India beats Pakistan in one day.

Humans came from the specie of apes & developed further. But we Indians remained to be more closer to the previous specie than the latest version cause we still so much imitate. Even with such brilliant minds we still compromise our intellect and tend to follow everything which is being followed in western culture.

Indian Architecture ka ‘I’ to pata nahi aur European Architechture study ke liye Europe Trip pe jana hai

If you can’t afford to have a honeymoon trip abroad, your marriage ends there.

We have such brilliant Indian English poets, but we still study British Poetry in Bachelors & Masters. No its not that they are better. It’s just that we don’t have enough time to promote literature written in our country because we are too busy promoting & learning theirs. Its like a blogging site. The more votes you get. The more popular you become- who cares about the quality.

There is a dialogue from the movie “Rang De Basanti”-

“IAS bano IPS bano, desh ko badlo”

But I question-

Kiss desh ko badlo jahan apni baat sunwane ke liye ann shann par baithna padta hai.

Well everyone can’t be an IAS but yet change.

Promote Indian Tourism, let the country grow, let the economy grow.

Read Indian English & Hindi literature. Post it on your blog, social networking sites. Make other people read and appreciate it

We always post useless crap, bad jokes, really bad copied quotes, our Europe trip Pictures- why not such remarkable piece of work.

Do your bit and inspire

You owe it to your nation. You owe it to those brilliant people & brilliant mids who once existed on your mother land.

BE PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN

Its Only Love, No You Or Me

‘Being in Love’ is a beautiful phrase

Sustaining the continuity is rough

If true, it will set you free

If pretending, then would appear like a handcuff.

You may fall in and out of it

If you are a human, it is bound to happen

But these are small ups and down

Don’t let them make you upset or grief laden

Never forget the reason which brought you together

Never let that reason change

Life & time will bring some change

But never let your love go strange

Love is not about finding a perfect person

Its about finding one, your heart beats for

And then give away your life to make your love perfect

Something worth dying for

Then this love will keep you always happy

Gay and cheerful all the time

Keeping you away from all the worries

Your life would become perfectly fine

And when in that state of Love

Remember, ‘Being in Love’ is the key

Celestial, heavenly, beautiful

Its only Love, no You or Me

We Compromise Way Too Beyond Our Standards

If you could just see me for what I am and not my curves

If you could respect my intellect merely by believing that I have some

If you could think beyond how useful and exciting I may be in bed.

If only you could really believe the fact that I have a brain too.

The feeling of love that I have for you doesn’t come from that dark valley down there.

It comes from a much superior heart which is placed way above it.

I very well understand that you can’t help being a pervert.

It’s a kind of basic nature in your gender.

Its as impossible as trying to change your genetic structure.

Might end up creating a monkey, as if you are not already one.

Or may be I am really unfair when I am insulting you with such allegations

May be your level of understanding is way too low to comprehend what we say.

thats why you always look with the same stupid face when we finish expressing ourselves.

But then we accept you with all your inferiority and pervert ness.

Attention- seekers, as you are, and we nurture you as if we were your mothers

Its not your fault in the end. The fault is all ours.

Only to see you smile, we compromise way too beyond our standards.

Such Useless Is My World

The hollowness within is gravely painful

Hopeless is the situation to begin

Loneliness in life is extremely faithful

It considers leaving me as a sin.

Movement in my life is extremely rare

As immovable as a primitive statue

Sorrows are the only one who care

Would never leave a chance to catch you

Numerous nights counted as sleepless

Almost forgotten how to sleep

My mind has become numb & thoughtless

And my lovely heart is sinking deep

No sunray to show me the way

No haven to hide, lying curled

The life is fading with each passing day

Such useless is my world.

With Every Sudden Twist Of Fate

With every sudden twist of fate
There comes a dormant state
Which keeps you wonder for sometime
And fades away all your prime.

It blows you off one after the other
Making your heart grow weak and sadder
With time it grows pungent and sour
Drying your soul from the core

Escape is not an option at all
If you wish to rise, you must fall
To fall and experience its intensity
Remember there is no such thing as eternity

Whatever exists is purely temporary
Your life is real, not legendary
What you must learn is to survive
Life is as dangerous as touching a beehive

There may occur several bites and stings
But dry winters are always followed by springs
If you try hard, the life will bend
And you will deserve nectar in the end

That You Must Stand Tall

Life would be beautiful. standing tall like a tree. sometimes fresh green sometimes hard dead but still standing.

Bending when wind is strong and spread out to embrace the rain. let birds rest on you and sing you love tales.

looking at couples making love under your soothing shade and nurture thousands of saplings every year.

Laden with colorful vibrant flower and tasteful fruits. taking in their fragrance all day long.

Watch people smile at you and your fertile beauty while you exhibit your calm.

And then shedding off your entire attire when that dark wintry season falls.

only to be decorated again with fresh new attire & watching a circle go complete.

No anxiety, no pain. pure experience with calm and a valuable lesson learnt -

THAT YOU MUST STAND TALL.

I promise to be with you No matter what it takes

I wana make love to you
Touching you everywhere
Look at you for hours
And smell you like air

Kiss hard your forehead
See it go wrinkle free
Watching you smile
Now that’s happiness to me

Wake up in the middle of the night
To see you sleep like a child
When you are in your masculine best
It makes me go dirty crazy and wild

Sitting beside you in the moonlight
Is one thing I like the most
Celebrating life with you
And raising a toast

I know this life is cruel sometimes
It grills and bakes
I promise to be with you
No matter what it takes

Everyone Wishes To Own A Lioness

Everyone whishes to own a Lioness
but no one likes her roar

they like her wildness
but abhores her untamed soul

domesticate her and chain like a dog
and guide her to wag her tail and lick your foot

forget carnivorous nature
and start eating vegatarian food

but then why chain a lioness
go bring a swine



its precious then all
my freedom is mine

That Magical White Light

Carefully carved, standing still

In the middle of the night

Soothing, cold and healing

Is your white light

Your stillness stirs the tides

In the vast oceans

They rise high while you watch

With patience

Mysterious & most desirable you stand

In the middle of nowhere

But then you have companions like

Me with stories to share

You have been sleepless for ages

& so do I

Being sleepless is our destiny

No matter how much we try

I am always full of awe when I

See you growing every night

& I go crazy when I don’t

See the moon’s light

Every ray of your white light fills me

With love, life & happiness

As if an angel bestows them all

In all her fairness

You have been kind to be there

When I needed you the most

When I would lie down for hours

On the wet coast

You brought me back to my senses

To my life

It’s your magical white light

Which kept me alive

I Want To Sleep Beside You

I want to sleep beside you
And wake up being there

Close my eyes looking at you
And open again to share

Wrap my arms around you
When you come fresh from water bare

Long walks holding your arm
And feeling the calm air

Reading my favorite words
With you sitting in the some chair

Wish to stay everyday with you
Only if life stays fair

Imagining a life without you
No I can never dare

Promise I Will Never Retaliate

Subdue my existence
Use all your worth
Lock my body in a case
& throw me in the sea

Brutally cut me
Into infinite pieces
Drain my blood
And then kill me

Thrash, beat, hit
Oh you must
If you wish to
Hide your anxiety

But however powerful
You might be
You can’t vanish it
Such is my entity

Give me a pen & a paper
And some fresh air
& there a new world
I create

A deep longing
And a deeper crave
Which words & only words
Can satiate

Such ageless is my world
Which will survive
Even when people
Will take you to cremate

Till then you carry on
With your oppression
Promise you that I would
Never retaliate

THE UNKNOWN MYSTERIOUS MISTRESS

Thinking about mysterious ways of life
Charming, alluring and forever testing
Appearing, disappearing charming white light
Always keeps me occupied when I am resting.


She has been extremely unfair a number of times
Yet many us of still survived
Making lives miserable is one of her favorite crimes
Yet many souls revived


She is capable of both the extremes
Like two sides of a coin twinned
Challenges are many in her stream
would surely keep your existence spinned


There she stands unsolved
Like an extremely difficult puzzle
Keeping the whole world involved
Making everyone bedazzled.


No soul could master it as yet
Undefeated she stands there
Several tried their best
But no one could enough dare


This unknown Mysterious Mistress

‘Life’ – its called

If Only My Heart Could Allow

if only my heart could allow
I would have thrown away your memories

Shedding out all tears which could be inside
I would have promised that I would never cry

Its so hard to close my eyes and ask you to go away
While I try to close them, you appear to be closer

Keep myself away from your thoughts
But then you keep appearing in my words

Those who read my words can see you too
My fears are becoming true

I have been trying to hide you deep inside me
But I end up expressing more about thee

I am like a flower attached to you
To go away from you I will have to wait till someone plucks me away