Types of people girls meet on FB

various types of desperados we meet

1)harmless suckers

they are the ones who only wish to increase the number of girls in their friend list. the obvious reason is to show off. they send random friend requests to any girl who happen to be present on fb. they always like whatever a girl posts & seldom comment. their comments are not more than one  words –‘nice’, ‘beautiful’,’wow’, ‘great’ etc. they are neither courageous nor daring enough to go beyond this. but they are content with the growing number of girls in their friend list.

2)Wannabe dudes

they often send messages followed by a friend request. messages can vary from “will you please be my friend?” to “hello dear, looking for friends who can meet, party and have fun with me”. such wannabes try to show themselves as the only stud alive in the town. show themselves off as Casanovas. excuse me you dumb heads,  all girls know that you have been a complete despo & a bigger looser. if you were such a stud then you wouldn’t have sent any random request at the first place

3) Friend’s friend

they are your friend’s friend & most of the times even your friends also refuse to acknowledge their friendship with such losers. so once you accept their friend request, only as an act of courtesy, as he is your friend’s friend, they are all over your profile. checking every damn picture of yours with ridiculous comments. they start calling you as if they were you chaddi buddies. whatever status you update, they have some rubbish statement to make.

4) biggest losers

they are usually inactive, hardly comment or like anything. you even forget they exist until they message. such are uselessly silent stalkers & nymphomaniacs. they would ask you “ what are you wearing babes?” to “ how would you like to do me?” to  “ what all you want me to do to you honey?”

ahem ..ahem .. no matter how much knowledge you try to show in the field of sex, we know that you never had any. all you can do is talk about it. most of the times, the lines are picked up from porn movies. where as you try to show us your active sex-life, we so very know that you have none & you just trying to have a blind chance on anyone you can get your hands on.

And the list is not enough but i am too full of anguish to add on anything at the moment. the only thing i wish to share is that

“ we all know that you people are such losers in real life so stop pretending & become real you…probably someone will start liking you too”

Palmistry Chapter 1: Texture Reading

Palmistry

i have just started reading this book on palmistry from my dad’s old collection of books. it is in hindi and with very rich vocabulary. it’s taking a lot of time to understand as we are no more accustomed to the same language which is also supposed to be our national language. Since I wanted to share my knowledge with my friends, I decided to translate it. starting with the first chapter, which is about reading the texture of skin on palm.

chapter 1

Reading The Texture Of Skin On Palm

Rough : wild in nature, rustic. roughness in behavior & work style. Less respectful & straight forward. works hard for livelihood. they don’t expect but believe in one’s moral values.

Soft (reddish) : they listen to their heart. shy away from facing harsh realities of life. like being in the world of fantasies & imagination and escape from all sort of hard work. but they prefer mental work instead. aspire to be famous in life.

Combination Of Rough & Soft :mostly successful in life. practical approach with correct blend of creative imagination. they find success almost everywhere. go-getters. good decision makers. present neat and clean work always and on time

A New Journey To A New Destiny

Restlessness is giving up.

Its going to give up soon.

That’s the only thing I have in me

That is all I have ever preserved within

That is all I really care for

Nothing much.

But then what else do I exist for.

Why does this entire persona exists.

Why was it born at all

I ask

I ask with a pain, wrath & helplessness

I cry & cry aloud & then wipe my own tears.

Sometimes stay awake till late

sometimes sleep all day & somedays

simply go by, as I lay in

my bed wide awake.

Forget to change sides even.

But why do I exist.

Why can’t I gather  the courage,

stand up one day & fall from

the height, never to see such

helplessness ever again.

And the question remains to be the same

-why do I even exist.

Or why can’t I shed all the tears

Once and forever.

Stand up dust off myself and move on.

To a new road to a new life

A new journey to a new destiny.

To Be Or Not To Be

From the day we were born till today, we have seen people around who lie, betray, manipulate, hurt & use other people. So when the same people ask us to be good, it appears so superficial. ‘Be Good’ is the phrase we must have heard not less than a million times but yet no one taught us how to be ‘Good’. Some tried preaching but all in vain since they could not practice what they preached.

Thinking about this issue thousand times, observing many people & their experiences, reading & analyzing for a long time, I reached a conclusion. Nobody can ever teach you to be ‘Good’ because we already have this mechanism in us. Human body has an automatic system of protection & healing. When we are hurt physically, our WBC’ &b platelets start working. Similarly, our intuitions & conscious help us win in difficult situations. Our mind always teaches us to be ‘Good’ but we generally avoid hearing its voice. We do certain things only for pleasure where in we know its wrong from within.

It is absolutely advisable to take risks in life. After all, people who dare to risk & take a chance are the real explorers of life. But before taking a chance/risk, always analyze if it’s worth taking it. If yes, then go ahead & win the world. But if you have a doubt, then please wait & prepare yourself for it. Never take a chance which if gone wrong, is never retrievable. Dare to dream big. Dare to make them true, but meanwhile don’t stay lame or blind.

Male Indications Of Interest In Females

Well though women are already smart and hardly need any advice, but still here is an offering from me to all lovely girls out there who don't understand why men act like clowns all the time.

Posturing - erect stance, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.

Wide Stance - legs apart (standing or sitting) - to increase size.

Cowboy Stance - thumbs in belt loops, fingers pointing to genital area.

Hands In Pockets - thumbs out and pointing to genitals.

Chest-Thumping - a metaphor describing various male antics designed to draw attention to themselves, often involving play-punching or wresting other males, laughing too loudly, head-tossing, acting the fool, etc.

Room Scanning - males who are available and looking for females tend to scan the room, partly to look for available females, but also to indicate they are available themselves.

Preening and Grooming - adjusting clothes, ties, cuffs, sleeves, tugging at trouser crotch, running hands through or over hair, etc.

Tattoos - conventional body language flirting guides.They suggest strength and machismo, since the process of obtaining them is painful, Certain females are attracted by tattoos on men, especially extensive markings. It's a drastic step to improve one's love life. Tattoos are significant attention-grabbers

Body Piercings - piercings do attract attention and signify the wearer to be different.

Dancing - dancing, in a suitable place of course, has for thousands of years been an opportunity for males to display their physical and sexual potential. With the exception perhaps of pogo-ing and head-banging most dance styles replicate sexual movements - lots of rhythmic hip and leg work, contorted facial expressions, sweating and occasional grunting, etc. For those blessed with a level of coordination dancing offers an effective way of attracting attention, especially in crowded competitive situations. For the less rhythmic, the lesson is to find a different environment.


So next time when you see a man scratching here and there, conclude that he has fallen for you....oh God why did you make these men so animalistic, that they can't even show there affections in a more sophisticated way....they don't seem to know anything beyond scratching

Female Indications Of Interest In A Male

I Found a number of men puzzeled about how to find out if a girl is interested in them or no. Well either we women are so mysterious or else you men are so dumb. But whatever may be teh case, i want more and more people to fall in love and live happily ever after. for this i must help the mankind..so here it goes some realiable ways of judging body language of women

Eye Contact - If the girl shows more than a glance, it indicates her initial interest in you.

Eye Catch & Look Away - establishing eye contact then looking away or down is the standard initial signal of interest designed to hook male reaction. The reliability of the signal meaning is strengthened when repeated and/or reinforced with longer eye-contact.

Eye-Widening - interest, simultaneously increasing attractiveness/appeal.

Pupil Dilating - interest, liking what is seen, arousal.

Looking Sideways Up - lowering head, slightly sideways, and looking up - also known as doe-eyes, with eyelashes normally slightly lowered - displays interest and vulnerability/coyness,

Shoulder Glance - looking sideways towards the target over the shoulder signals availability and her growing interest.

Smiling - welcoming and friendliness.

Moistening Lips - lips mimic the female labia, hence the potency of red lipstick (suggesting increased blood flow.

Parted Lips - significant attraction signal.

Flicking Hair - often combined with a slight tossing movement of the head.
also exposes neck,showing inner wrist or forearm - a soft vulnerable area and erogenous zone.it simply means inviting to explore

Straightening Posture - standing taller, chest out, stomach in - a natural response to feeling the urge to appear more appealing.

self-touching - drawing attention to sexually appealing parts of the body; neck, hair, cleavage, thigh, etc -represent imagining of being touched - and of course demonstration of what it would be like for the target to do the touching.

Self Thigh-Stroking - usually while sitting down - same as self-touching.

Standing Opposite - normally a confrontational positioning, but in flirting allows direct eye contact and optimizes engagement.

Leaning Forward - sitting or standing; leaning forwards towards a person indicates interest and attraction.

Foot Pointing - direction can indicate person of interest.

Leg Twine - a tight-leg cross 'aimed' (combined with eye contact) at a target, or when sitting one-to-one, increases sexual allure since it emphasises leg shape and tone. When employed flirtatiously, female leg crossing and uncrossing also has obvious sexual connotations and stimulates basic urges in males.

Shoe-Dangling - positive signal of relaxation or of greater promise,it simply means that she fells comfortable with you

Pouting - An attraction pout looks more like the initial forming of a kiss.

Picking Fluff - removing fluff, hair, etc., from the target's clothes is playing in the intimate personal space zone, in which the fluff picking is merely a pretext or excuse.

Fondling Cylindrical Objects - phallic transference, for instance using pens, a dangling earring, a wine glass stem, etc.

and if learn this art, u can win all women in this world...but sorry i won't let that happen so i am going to post a similar piece of knowledge for women as well.:)

Thank you for reading

How To Kill Boredom At Work

Hey people! Here are few tips to survive the boredom at your workplace. Many a times we are so irritated by our same daily mundane work, that we either don’t do it properly or else keep cribbing about it throughout the day. Poor Facebook faces your ugly wrath .These tips will help you relieve yourself and cure your boredom.

1.Whenever stuck in a fixed situation, like an irrelevant meeting or a training which requires you to be glued to your chair – look around you. There are funny people all around you. Try to turn them into cartoons on your sheet.You may not be an artist but you would surely get enough occasions to sharpen your skills. And then someday when you are caught making cartoons and thrown out of your job, you can always become a full time cartoonist.


2.If you have a heavy boring file in front of you and you have no inclinations of studying it- Don’t sulk, take up the file and create a small cartoon character (e.g. zoo zoo or fido)with different poses on the corner of every sheet. Once you have done that, I am sure you know what to do next- its movie time for wierdos like us. This technique is simple but funny. And when you pass on the same file to your boss, he would also laugh at your humouristic timepass. But again you can also be thrown out.

3.One fine morning, try to remember your favorite shakespearean character. Act like one throughtout the day. E.g, talk, walk and eat like Hamlet some day or dance like Rosalind the other day. You will enjoy the change and your friends would have some fun too by looking at your magnificent acting skills. But please don’t overdo it or else the same friends will help you land up in some asylum.

4 Create story but no need to create characters. Your friends will be of some use here. I mean, create a story which has your frinds as characters.e.g, you can imagine a gay love story among your two friends.Imagine them making out on your bosses table in after hours,you can always share the story among your friends but make sure they are not offended. But even if they are, they can’t stop you from imagining.

5.Translate your favorite English song to typical bhojpuri version.or a hindi song into English rap. Share the version during lunch time but make sure your boss is not around.


6.Sing aloud when alone in lifts. If you are caught on camera by HR ,nevermind, Indian Idol 6 will open its enteries soon

7.Wear most possible weird combination of clothes to office someday. See how people react. Some people would tell you on your face. Others would notice, make fun but would not tell. Some would not really notice. In this whole process you can judge who all are your good friends.

if u need some more wierd ideas to escape work, please comment