I promise to be with you No matter what it takes

I wana make love to you
Touching you everywhere
Look at you for hours
And smell you like air

Kiss hard your forehead
See it go wrinkle free
Watching you smile
Now that’s happiness to me

Wake up in the middle of the night
To see you sleep like a child
When you are in your masculine best
It makes me go dirty crazy and wild

Sitting beside you in the moonlight
Is one thing I like the most
Celebrating life with you
And raising a toast

I know this life is cruel sometimes
It grills and bakes
I promise to be with you
No matter what it takes

Everyone Wishes To Own A Lioness

Everyone whishes to own a Lioness
but no one likes her roar

they like her wildness
but abhores her untamed soul

domesticate her and chain like a dog
and guide her to wag her tail and lick your foot

forget carnivorous nature
and start eating vegatarian food

but then why chain a lioness
go bring a swine



its precious then all
my freedom is mine

That Magical White Light

Carefully carved, standing still

In the middle of the night

Soothing, cold and healing

Is your white light

Your stillness stirs the tides

In the vast oceans

They rise high while you watch

With patience

Mysterious & most desirable you stand

In the middle of nowhere

But then you have companions like

Me with stories to share

You have been sleepless for ages

& so do I

Being sleepless is our destiny

No matter how much we try

I am always full of awe when I

See you growing every night

& I go crazy when I don’t

See the moon’s light

Every ray of your white light fills me

With love, life & happiness

As if an angel bestows them all

In all her fairness

You have been kind to be there

When I needed you the most

When I would lie down for hours

On the wet coast

You brought me back to my senses

To my life

It’s your magical white light

Which kept me alive

I Want To Sleep Beside You

I want to sleep beside you
And wake up being there

Close my eyes looking at you
And open again to share

Wrap my arms around you
When you come fresh from water bare

Long walks holding your arm
And feeling the calm air

Reading my favorite words
With you sitting in the some chair

Wish to stay everyday with you
Only if life stays fair

Imagining a life without you
No I can never dare

Promise I Will Never Retaliate

Subdue my existence
Use all your worth
Lock my body in a case
& throw me in the sea

Brutally cut me
Into infinite pieces
Drain my blood
And then kill me

Thrash, beat, hit
Oh you must
If you wish to
Hide your anxiety

But however powerful
You might be
You can’t vanish it
Such is my entity

Give me a pen & a paper
And some fresh air
& there a new world
I create

A deep longing
And a deeper crave
Which words & only words
Can satiate

Such ageless is my world
Which will survive
Even when people
Will take you to cremate

Till then you carry on
With your oppression
Promise you that I would
Never retaliate

THE UNKNOWN MYSTERIOUS MISTRESS

Thinking about mysterious ways of life
Charming, alluring and forever testing
Appearing, disappearing charming white light
Always keeps me occupied when I am resting.


She has been extremely unfair a number of times
Yet many us of still survived
Making lives miserable is one of her favorite crimes
Yet many souls revived


She is capable of both the extremes
Like two sides of a coin twinned
Challenges are many in her stream
would surely keep your existence spinned


There she stands unsolved
Like an extremely difficult puzzle
Keeping the whole world involved
Making everyone bedazzled.


No soul could master it as yet
Undefeated she stands there
Several tried their best
But no one could enough dare


This unknown Mysterious Mistress

‘Life’ – its called

If Only My Heart Could Allow

if only my heart could allow
I would have thrown away your memories

Shedding out all tears which could be inside
I would have promised that I would never cry

Its so hard to close my eyes and ask you to go away
While I try to close them, you appear to be closer

Keep myself away from your thoughts
But then you keep appearing in my words

Those who read my words can see you too
My fears are becoming true

I have been trying to hide you deep inside me
But I end up expressing more about thee

I am like a flower attached to you
To go away from you I will have to wait till someone plucks me away

Now I Wish To Change The Tide

Experimenting has been your favorite play
From childhood till today.

You experimented on heights of being scared by throwing at me
All ugly looking creatures on this earth.

Filling my Doll’s House with filthy earthworms
But I endured.

Spooked me peeping through my window at night
Dressed in white. But I endured.

Burdened me with all your notebooks when I had my own
burdened. But I endured.

You could never imagine the height of pain I felt
Watching you flirt with every girl available around.
But I endured.

You disappearing with your friends for months altogether
& never bother to call me once. But I endured.

You considered me anything other than ugly, stupid & useless
While the world had a different opinion. But I endured.

Confiscated my freedom while you enjoyed yours
But I endured.

You can never reach the depth of my endurance
You would rather die trying
But things are going to change
Cause I am tired of crying.

I am looking at the new Horizon wide
Since now I wish to change the Tide.

I Am In Love With Pain

Let me sit reduced to a corner beneath the dark night.
Let me be with me and enjoy my pain.

Share, I would never, cause its close to my heart.
Dare, I would never to tear it apart.

I would do what I enjoy the most
Sit, moan and weep for countless hours.

Cry till I loose my breath
Cry till my head aches and nerves go numb.

And then fall on the bed like a dead leaf
Now that’s what I call a painful act

And then next few hours of ecstasy
Give me more of it cause I am in love with pain

If I Wish To Change, I Can Change

Looking at the leaves while the world is busy looking at the petals.

searching for hiding worm when they are bewitched by its fragrance

i always carried a different perspective, unusually varied than the ones which they carried.

i found it different, simply different
while they thought i was retarded

i could find bliss where they thought was boredom.
i felt the sorrow & pain where they thought were none.

sometimes you need to have an unusual perspective to look beyond the obvious.

you see a picture of a woman, i see her plight.
you see a child getting dirty in the rain, i could feel his throbbing heart.
when the world calls itself a mean place, i can see love all around.
when they say its all fine, i can see they are wrong.

never bothered, never will, about the world not being able to accept the other side of the coin, while they are busy bouncing on one.

they think their side is the end of the world- nothing was previous, nothing beyond.
patient, as i have always been

i am waiting for the circumstances to toss the coin & let my side win for once.

if i win. i don't promise to change anything.

all i wish to do is to revive a very strong human desire-

"IF I WISH TO CHANGE, I CAN CHANGE"

Some Magic & Some Bliss

Some magic and some bliss
And a lots of love around
Some life and some ecstasy
And happiness must surround


Some words and some phrases
And a lots more to talk
Some kisses and some embraces
And a lovely long walk


Some colors and some fumes
And a lovely piece of art
Some canvas and some clay
And a new work to start


Some visions and some dreams
And a reason to be alive
Some laughs and some smiles
And that’s how we survive


Some kins and some pals
And have something to share
Some hope and some faith
And have someone to care

Putting In It All My Faith

Its fresh, its new
Its bright like a lightning
Thunderous like a thunderstorm
But its least frightening


I am amazed at the phrase
Those stream of lovely thoughts
That liveliness in every word
Continuous useless talks


Though this has happened before
Yet every thing seems so new
Its like a roller coaster ride
Every second passing really fast too


Loving every moment & movement of it
The closeness growing everyday
Getting romantic at the core
& soft till the brim I must say


But its too new & has no shape
I will have to calm down & wait
So as to mould it into something
Putting in it all my faith

Make Sure Your Death Isn’t The Same

Crawl like a snail
Is something which I will never take

Hibernate for months
No I can never stay so numb

Hanging upside down like a bat
How can you ever think of that?

Is this all you have for me
I feel like laughing at your futility



But I dare not, since I am futile myself
I am no fairy no elf

Waiting for a day when I could respect myself
Self confidence & pride are hardly ever felt

Gone are the days when I could stand strong
& now you wish me to run a marathon

I have created dream a many
But don’t have the courage to make true any



The purpose of my existence has become the biggest question
I need words no more – I need some action

If I wish to become an example for all
I better learn to stand tall

& then extend my helping hand
To all those who wish to move ahead

I would like to be a light house in the sea
So whenever they seek guidance they can come to me



Such a life would surely be worth living for
Let loose your passion & let it soar

No matter how insignificant your today would be
Make sure insignificant tomorrow should never be

Life is only for once
Consider it as your last chance

We all were born without a name
Make sure your death isn’t the same

Let Be Me And Never Follow Thee

I look at them closely. Try to penetrate their souls with my vision.
Successful sometimes & useless many a times.
They have got into this habit of pretending.
Pretending to be what they are not and can never be. But yet they continue to try. Stopping them would surely destruct them. It will pierce through their hearts.
So shall we let them pretend. Or may be this is the right thing to do.
Today when nothing remains real, pretension is the new key, pretension is the new skin.
But then why is that I simply cannot get into this skin?
Why is that my heart refuses to accept this new habit?
I refuse to be what I don’t really want to be.
I refuse to stand upside down to impress the world.
I refuse to unnecessarily try to get into smart conversations to prove I have a better intellect.
I refuse to lie down when the tides are high
. I would rather ride them & reach the eternity.
I refuse to sell myself in this world of demand & supply.
When I am dead & gone, they can have my dead body & supply it accordingly to their needs but definitely not till I am alive.
People are prone to getting influenced & carried away easily which leads to their surrender.
But surrender I will never.
My qualities are not usual. So those who have eyes would be able to see.
Now if I have a nice heart; I need not cut my chest & take it out to show.
All I need to be – is just be and let everyone see.
Thousand pretensions there may be, but it is not my cups of tea,
Let me be me & never follow thee.

still confused between brooding about my loss or blissfully enjoy this new love

When one is young in college days, life appears to be so promising & lusciously beautiful. I was still in high school when I had firmly decided not to study even a single year after high school. My only ambition was to marry ASAP, have lots of children & live as a home maker ever after. With a heavy quarter heart, I pushed myself to attend college lectures everyday. But very soon managed to get a handsome hunk who could not only help me bunk boring classes but give lessons on love making as well. It was then, when I could see the real beautiful world. Not with my own eyes, had borrowed his vision, his perception his sight. The way I had an ambition, he had one too, which was much greater than mine. He wanted to become a proud officer in the defence forces of our country & serve the nation till his last breath. He had love as the only element in him. Love for me, love for his family & his fellow citizens. he said that we all youngsters owe our lives to the nation. But I never thought so.

The year we got out of the college was very eventful. Our graduation & engagement were the first two celebrations followed by him clearing all military exams & interviews...phew. all so fast. Time to say goodbye & join the Academy. I cried buckets full but he was very happy. This was all he ever wanted. But what about me & my ambition. Well he had an answer to that as well. He promised to marry me once he completes his course & finally becomes an officer. well a mere thought of getting married was super exciting for me. So I forgot all worries & started shopping & planning for the wedding. Our families were happy over this union.

First posting in the services is supposed to be choice postings. It was obvious that he would take his first posting to his home town & then we would finally marry. But for some silly patriotic reasons, Mr Adventurer, took his first posting in a Naxalite hit area in Assam. I was so pissed off that I did not speak to him for next seven days which was killing for both. But then he always had an advantage of winning me away with his words. Just another year & that will be the end of his bachelor life. so I resumed to my favorite act – shopping.

Though he would tell me stories about various encounters, ambush, landmines & killings but I never felt scared until that day. A group of five men with him were send into a jungle for some search. It was 5 days since they did not come back. Their wireless sets were also not traceable. We all were informed about the same & were asked to reach that station. Another two days & no trace. Four days after their disappearance, another team was send to rescue the previous group. On the seventh day, they returned with few sacks. The sacks were full of several pieces of bodies. Blood dripping out of them. All mixed up, rotten. Filthy.

It took the forensic department to complete their research & fix up the mutilated bodies. The only thing which I could identify was his wristwatch which I had gifted him on our first valentines.

Damn. We were so close to getting married & live happily ever after. I had been waiting for it for so long & suddenly I was standing in the middle of a deserted forest with blood sucking flies all around me trying to identify a mutilated body which was supposed to be my lover.. For the country, he was just another soldier but for me, he was Everything. The one who taught me how to love & see this beautiful world. Life was over for me. I had nothing left in it. Absolutely nothing. I was as good as dead but I could still breathe. So I decided to get over that last string of life as it was incomplete without him. Went back home, took out sleeping pills from my mother’s cupboard, pop in all at once & locked myself in a room.

I was getting it. That drowsiness, that lovely calm sleep. I could sense the death approaching I heard his mother cry aloud “don’t go. I have lost my son. Don’t wana loose my daughter” it shook me from head to toe. All this while all I had been thinking about was I . What about my family & what about his family. They were my family too. By killing myself I would have brought an end to my pains but could not end theirs. Was it not the same thing which he was trying to teach me all this while? Love all

It was then that I decided to reject approaching death & choose life. when I opened my eyes I could see two mothers staring at me with hope still left in their eyes. We all live together now & happily ever after. But I am still confused between brooding about my loss or blissfully enjoy this new love

ANN DATA

Big cities, big population, high cost of living. In cities where a cup of coffee costs 75 bucks, these Anndatas give food for Rs 10. they can be seen in every corner with a huge fan following. They have customers throughout the day. They work from 5.a.m to 10.p.m & then prepare food for the next day. In a city where the cost of vegetables is growing high everyday, they satisfy their customers with fixed rates and delicious food.

I am talking about these Anndatas who are extreme hardworkers & feeder for many people.we also know the under the banners such as -AMRITSARI NAAN,BHOJPURI-POORI SABJI while interviewing some of these thelewalas and of those people who are their regular customers i was able to know about the background of some of these thelewalas, their home town and reason to come to city.

on one hand we have baristas, mc ds, dominoes & several café houses but on the other hand we have these thelewalas who serve thousands of people everyday with delicious & affordable food.

And you really want to know who is more poular? whatever the consensus say, these Ann Dattas are the real food suppliers for millions in this costly city

To My Dead Father

When people die,they leave behind a trail of unfulfilled dreams, incomplete stories & incomplete lives.
when you died, I felt the same.
It was so abrupt that I couldn’t absorb it for sometime.
Kept hoping it wasn’t true. Kept imagining you.around.
There was so much I wanted to tell you. Many stories which I had written.
So many unfinished matches. So many conspiracies to be made & executed.
So many surprises to be given so many to be received.
I had it all, all in my heart folded.
But then you disappeared one day leaving me with all that & much more.
Its been thirteen years but I could not fill in that space which you had created in my heart.
I keep imagining what life could have been with you.
I feel I would have been a different person altogether if you were around. Someone’s disappearance changes everyone around forever.
This is what you did to me forever.
I never cried aloud when you had left.
But now I think I should have cried you out of my heart , out of my life cause you keep haunting me till today.

Till The Brightness Reaches After Night

Things don’t stay same as they were
And the past always seems beautiful

The lovely excitement in a fresh love affair
Never stays equally exciting for the pair

Surprising each other with something unusual
A romantic story starts becoming casual

Let this passing time help my love grow
But would it really grow, I doubt so

For that, you must look at me everyday
With the same passion, which I saw first day

Write a beautiful love letter to me
Passionately romantic to the brim, it must be

Sometimes pick me up from the work early
& I promise to love you whole night dearly

Sit under the moon holding me tight
Till the brightness reaches after night

A TRIBUTE TO PIED PIPER

Reading you for days altogether
I am caught in your web of words

Every poem, verse, article
Is so full of clusters of words

They are not only words but
Clusters of emotions

Emotions – heavy, strong, passionate,
Transparent, true & rare

You are none of those imposters,
Who write only to be called a writer

You are true to yourself & your work
As a truthful writer
Your flamboyance when you talk about women
Sways every girl by her feet

You talk like an expert
Like a king of all traits

Being followed by many
You hardly have attitude any

You write like you own the words
& yet appear like that same old back bencher

I wish you grow bigger & mightier
Than your own words

May you win a million hearts
My little heart will be among those


This post is dedicated to Pallav Gogoi who is a wonderful writer...when i read him for the first time, i went crazy after his words....three cheers for an excellent writer....pls dnt forget ur fans when u really go famous.

WINTER DEPRESSION

Desperation is at all time highest at this moment. Desperation to overcome depression. Did I tell you that the intensity of depression is even several times higher than the height of desperation?
It’s so heavy that I am not able to shed it off
. Increasing with the decreasing temperature perhaps.
It used to happen in the month of December but ha shifted to the first month of the year. May be with the climate cycle being shifted cause of global warming I guess.
Now that is scientifically justified but not me.
My mood swings cannot be justified only as a result of hormonal upswings.
My psyche is surely not dependent only on that.
Emotions as diverse as wishing to bring smile on the faces of many to suddenly turn dead mean & extinct yourself.
And then feel like running several miles to not even budge an inch when in bed.
This winter is definitely much more than being deadly to me.
Think of varied characters but feeling too tired & torn out to pen down.
To bounce on calorieful food & end up drinking only a bowlful of vegetable soup.
To feel like loving someone & being loved to turn into a witch & cursing everyone.
This weather is deadly than we can even think. At least for me.
So I wish it passes on while I & my relationships stay unharmed.
Though it is unlikely to be harmless but I must guard myself.