SAY NO TO WOMEN'S DAY

This Women's Day, let us start a trend - "Not to celebrate Women's Day".
Not Convincing? Let me make it convincing for you.

What does celebrating 'Women's Day' actually mean to you?

Option 1- MAKES YOU FEEL EMPOWERED. Well if you are already empowered, do you really need a day to reinforce that to yourself? If you know your powers, you probably are celebrating and cherishing it everyday.

Option 2 - THIS DAY IS TO TALK ABOUT ISSUES RELATED TO GENDER INEQUALITY . Do you really think that a few debates over a few cases of domestic violence, unequal wages, crime against women, on a single day can bring the massive change required?

Option 3 - IT TALKS ABOUT NEED  FOR RESERVATION FOR WOMEN. Do you really think that while demanding equality, it is fair to seek reservation benefits based on the same principals of inequality? With entitlement of reservation, a sense of inequality come for free.

Right from the days of Raja Ram Mohan Roy, several social activists have tried to help women get a better share in the society. But do we really have to wait for some activists to come and raise a voice in our defence.

My addressal  is especially to all the educated women who still face gender inequality and its consequences each day. Your right to equality is your personal quest. You have to seek it each day. On the days when an office colleague wishes you on Women's Day and then forwards a misogynist joke on WhatsApp just because its trending. On the days when your boss justifies disparity in wages for same amount of work. On the days when your own mother teaches you to keep your brother, husband and son above you and your priorities. These are your daily fight and struggles. If you win them each day, you wont need a "Women's Day" to remind you of your strength.

Ms Nandita Prakash
Educationist

To Live with a Forgotten Dream

Everyone has a dream. What would they be when they grow up, what would they do, buy, own. I too had a dream. In teenage years when one decides on profession or show inclination towards a vocation, I wanted to be a housewife. I had sorted it all in my head. Opposite to the general perception, I wasn't trying to run away from responsibilities but rather preparing to take on the job of managing a household/a family in all its seriousness.

I had prepared myself a five year project plan and a job list. I had resolved to set up a comfortable house in the first year and had planned to have four kids. I wanted to  dedicate my life to cook warm food for them, stitch them beautiful clothes, keep them warm in winters, tell them stories, home school them and even write books for them. It was all that I wanted and cared.

When I look back fifteen years, I envy my dedication and clarity of thought. I wish I had the same power on my fate as I thought I had back then. Now, fifteen years since then, I still crave to feel a life grow inside my womb, to see its little fists boxing from inside, to see this little one open its eyes in my arms and cry for the milk supplies. To see the tiny fellow look like me, may be the same curls or even the smile.

Motherhood is not a thing to define womanhood. It is not even needed for a women to feel complete. But then what do I do with this only dream that I ever had. I don't know if my mother or any of my friends would have felt as fulfilling as I would have with a child hanging around my neck.

Motherhood is a feeling and childlessness is a condition. And none of this can define existence of a woman. The question was never that whether the society will accept me as a childless woman. The question is that will I be able to live with a forgotten dream

Ah! I Hope Its True

All he had were a list of simple words. Quite contrary to the range of stories he had. As versatile as human emotions. complicated but penned in simple words. He made the whole effort of writing appear so effortless and natural. It was in his very nature perhaps , to simplify complex emotions and let them float on the surface of a calm water under a bright shining sun.

How was it even possible for this one person alone, to bring order in this universe or at least the universe around him that mattered. Very close to being unbelievable but
also quite close to the visible reality. " They don't make such men anymore" my heart cried. Or may be all this while, I was blind to such a possibility.

So should we go ahead and see how this story unfolds. Or rather just stay here keeping oneself busy in imagining all the nice things before the cruel reality takes over and ruins it. And what if all this is real and there are no curtains this time. What if this white light that I see, is the light of love, light of life.

My heart has so much love that if it could manifest itself, it would possibly be this man. Yet the old wounds will not stop bleeding. It will never let him heal them. But this man is no less in sorcery, as his words have already reached my wounds. It is only a matter of time and before I would know, my wounds will be gone.
Ah! I hope its true.

I Will Never Appear Meek

and its only the night
 which would ever see me cry.
as the sun rises 
you will find my pillows dry.
my smile
 will worry you more
this happiness 
will make your heart sore.
I will never give you
 the pleasure you seek
To you I will 
never appear meek.

Unseen Awaits You

No, to travel is not to escape
It is to confront.
It is not merely for leisure .
You can land up in a jungle
With thirst and hunger.
But very often,
It gives spiritual pleasures.
If u can then you must,
Travel to places unknown.
What you always seek
Awaits you!

Life Isn't Fair

It isn't fair,
but then who said it will be.
You may wish someone loved you,
with all their might
but when did they guarantee?
This faith can transport you through years
but same years
cannot promise faith to you and me.
Still you can wish
and wish you must,
because then there will be
nothing else
to hold on to..to look up to.
I believe i can survive
cause i believe in me

- Nandita Prakash

TELL ME A BEAUTIFUL LIE INSTEAD

Enough of your truth
tell me a lie instead.
But it must be lovelier
than the songs i have read.
It must be cheerful enough
to help me gleefully forget,
the countless scars on my soul,
the ample tears i have shed.
Tell me endless tales
about the pleasures I never had.
I dont care about your darker truth,
tell me a beautiful lie instead

-Nandita Prakash

THREE SET OF TEACHERS IN MY LIFE

My life has been touched upon by more teachers than any other. This is because I could never leave school. I studied in one, went up to college only to come back to school. Teachers forever existed in my life. The ones who taught me and the ones I teach. And they both have remarkable impressions on my life. I have always been a people’s observer. Observe actions, analyse, learn and remember. I distinctly remember each one of them and forever will.

Teachers at school were loving and caring. Yes they were also good at disciplining and now I realize how essential it was. They taught strong values and good morals to which I still standby. For me they were forever encouraging and kind.

 College was liberating and so were my professors. They taught me to question myself and everything else around. They taught me to have humility, to argue well when required. When the world was busy talking about women empowerment, I saw and felt it happening to me through every class my professors would take. Every professor had an awe inspiring character and I continue to admire them even till today.

When I became a teacher to teachers, I saw the personal side of them. They empowered many and yet did not had a control or power in all areas of their lives. Some of them had changed careers and some on them had changed streams. Mostly they compromised as they thought teaching to be less time consuming job which can be managed easily with a household. Little did they know how difficult it was. But I saw them overcome every condition and become best and truthful in their career as a teacher.

You all taught me to realize my worth every day and in every situation. You were my teachers and forever will be.

With all humility in my existence, I thank you though I know that I can never thank you enough.  

With Love

Nandita Prakash

Why I met you at all

with every turn i took
it rolled me away from you

while i thought i was reaching near
...

i was drifting away

if it was for fate
i could have given up all

But it was for love
and it took all of me

and now when the love in no more
i wonder why

i met you
at all.


                                                                                                               Nandita

Travel Tale-Destination Unknown (Chakrata)

Travel to one stop to another is engaging. Very  engaging. But all that matters is that what you find in between. While you travel, when you stop to grab some food, some water, some culture, some stories, some relations and some human conversational touch. Intentional, unintentional, random, unplanned, unprovoked and yet the best part of the entire journey.

After great long period of more than six months, a long weekend was approaching in the calendar. With my usual desperation of not letting even a single day, hour or minute go waste, I had to plan something nice. Somewhere nice to go, where I had never been before. Somewhere away from the usual crowd. A road less taken and barely traveled.

Was gathering suggestion for quite some time and was unsure of every option. As usual, I wanted to reach the hills and see the snow. Well since the time was less, it was not possible to travel long distance. As per my half knowledge, I assumed that I could find snow nowhere within the reach of 300kms. But.But I was luckily so wrong.

A friend suggested Dakpathar as one as one of the options. Not very far from Dehradun, I thought it would be easy to reach and explore. I had imagined it to be a place with ‘Dark Stones’  and some dark woods around, as I had misspell it as ‘DarkPathar’. Another suggestion came from a local of Dehradun. Chakrata (pronounced as Chakruta by the locals though). It was not very far away from Dakpathar so was added to my plan. All I knew was that I could get a local bus from Dehradun to Chakrata.

To cut the crap, I was headed to something very amazing, but dint know what. Traveled in the night to reach Dehradun, early in the morning. I was hungry as I had a very light dinner previous night. It is always better to eat less while you are travelling, than having an aching stomach on the way.All I could find at Dehradun bus station was an old chai wala who had nothing to offer but tea. When he saw my hungry face, the kind soul went to a nearby shop to get me some bread. It was enough as a gesture to win me over.

As I reached the Bus  stand, I found out that there was hardly any bus which could take me to Chakrata. However, some local busses move from Dehradun Railway station.Took a Vikram (local shared auto service) to catch a local bus from railway station. There the conductor told me that no bus could take me to Chakrata as the roads are too narrow. Only cabs can take me there which I would get from Vikas Nagar. Travelling for next 45 mins in the mini bus, I reached Vikas Nagar while watching IMA, Botanical garden and several management colleges pass by.The road looked lovely this spring.

As the bus dropped me at Vikas Nagar, a very small town settled on two sides of a 500 mtr road, I could see cabs waiting for passengers across the road. Rs 90 per head. Waiting for other passengers to fill in was a little tiring though which took longer than usual as it was a Sunday and not many people would go to Charata.

Moving ahead was becoming scenic, interesting, lavishly beautiful and colder. Narrow roads which takes one to new scenery waiting behind every turn. Varied from lush green to flowery to barren to green again the road is very captivating from Kalsi to Charata. It took me 45 mins to cover a distance of 45 kms between Dehradun to Vikas Nagar and it took me 2 hrs to cover next 45 kms between Vikas Nagar to Charata. Regardless to say the drive was uphill and amazing.14 hours of rushless travel and I had already reached my destination enjoying the ride on four different vehicles.

Let Go

and the day you decide to let go

to let go all the feelings....good or bad

to let go of your past and your future

to let go of all attachments you may carry

to let go of all pain

to let go of all the tears..and those few cheers

to let go that damp air inside your choked heart

those moist eyes which deserve a better spark

to let go of this birth and fear of death

to let the end sink in with every new breath

and the day u decide is far away from when it finally arrives

the end of u the end of every tale of u.

that is where the new life thrives.

                                                                   - Nandita Prakash

With Every Dream I Weave, Gives me a heartache

 when u turn ur back

and walk to ur home

i still stay there for long

with a teary eye and hope

that you may return.

But you never return

when i express my love

and u say you care

i doubt you do

you have a life

i have none

i crave for u to be beside

for u to hold me all night

but far you go

to embrace someone else

someone you love

someone you care

and i die a little by little

with every night

with every day

with every dream i weave

gives me a heartache.

                                        - Nandita Prakash

and here i write again

and here i write again
i had forgotten to live
to laugh ..to be me
but now i release all my barriers
all my fears
to flow through my words
and reach someone dear.

to think from this heart
and not my brain
who claims to rule my heart
unaware dat i m ruled
by another soul and not me
i m already slaved and not free

and still i skip a heartbeat
walk several miles
just to feel
that i am alive
keep wondering
the fate and destiny
do i hav few happiness or many?

INTELLECTUAL IMPOTENCE

Intellectual impotence is very difficult to identity and even greater difficult to expose.
Well its a recently discovered phrase (credit goes to my brilliant mind).
But there is a possibility of i being ignorant of the fact that it already exists.

However, even if i dont know if it really exists or has some pre-concluded meaning, i have my own:
Intellectual Impotence is the inability to see/being able to acknowledge even slightest of the posibilities that some other human being can also have an intellect which is worth a listening & understanding.

many people are infected with this kind if impotence but they simply refuse to believe that they are Impotent.
Such people are fond of talking crap, and they dont realize how shitty is the crap.
When people show the courtesy of bearing their crap, they think they are great rhetorics.
Hight of stupidity occurs when they refuse other intellects by simply believing theirs to be THE INTELLECT.

Well all this can be better explained when you see the real life characters.

Now i would not do that for you, but you can do it for yourself.
tommorrow go out and closely watch your Manager or Boss in office.Come back and watch your GF/BF do the same and ya spouse belong to no other specie.

since the problem is highly contageous
Prevention is better than cure so you can prevent it by keeping yourself away from such people.
Resign from your jobs, break -up from you relationships, get a divorce but save yourself from being Impotent.

Shadow

She was looking at him crying helplessly. Yelling out her name, as he always did when he could not find her in the house. But this cry was more painful, dreadful, loud & disheartening. She wanted to sit beside him & calm him down. But she simply could not. She tried several times but he did not acknowledge her presence. What was wrong? And then she saw herself lying on the floor cold & white. She was dead six hours ago. A small slip from the bedroom stairs & there she was lying dead on the living room & there he was sitting beside her dead body devastated.

A courtship of five years and marriage of five months and a relationship of an entire lifetime-all disappeared in a second. It was much more hard than difficult for him to come back to his normal routine. He would try to occupy his mind in work, work late & avoid coming back to his dead house. Sleepless nights, wet pillows & an empty bedside. Flipping through all her photographs & to keep looking at her wanting to touch her, kiss her, and feel her. And she would sit beside him all the time looking at him undergo such pain. More painful was the fact that she was around but yet not. He couldn’t see her & she couldn’t tell him.

She had refused to go with the Holy light & start a new life. She wanted to be with him & see him recover & get a normal life. She had become restless & wanted to make her presence felt. She started finding out various ways of communicating from her state to the living world. She needed it so badly that finally happened. One morning when he woke up he heard the bathroom shower on. He thought she must be in there, but on the second thought he rushed inside the washroom to see the shower running. With a cup of tea, he went to his living room & smelt the same old fragrance of white lilies. She had liked them & would always keep them in the vase near the kitchen. They were there even today. But then who else would have brought it today. May be some of the servants were trying to remember her. Rushing through the pages of newspaper, he saw some words highlighted with red. And to put them together, it said “ I am here”. The hint was loud enough to capture. He was happy to know that she was around & could see him & probably hear him too.

Now he would talk to her without expecting any reply & she would listen to all his useless talks. But with time his talks became less with her but more on phone. She felt forgotten & like every housewife does at least once in her lifetime. One day he came back with one of his colleagues. They chatted all evening, had few drinks together & went out around midnight. She was worried for him more than she was worried for herself. That same girl started coming home very often. He was happy talking to her & caressing her hair sometimes. She was angry as any wife would be. One morning, she got a coffee mug spilled on his newspaper, a broken window of the bedroom, scattered pens 7 papers in the study room

He was ready to start a new life with someone new. He didn’t want her around. He wanted her to leave him & go. But she had nowhere to go. She had refused a new life only to bring him back to his normal life and now when he was back to enjoying life, he demanded her absence. She stayed in the same house without making her presence felt ever. She saw him marry that girl, saw them making love in her very bed, have children & live happily ever after. While she remained to be a shadow.

Things Happen When They Have To Happen

Life was full of fun for him in London. Famous in his college for his Charm.He was the best friend anyone can ever had & the brightest in the class. Fond of helping friends, completing assignments & party all weekends. Coming back to India was definitely not a very good idea.

As far as rich Indian families are concerned, they always wish their kids to go abroad to study & always come back to serve the family business & of course the nation. Who cares about the emotional turmoil the kid undergoes. But Manav was a sensible lad, had always been. When he came back to India, it took him six months to meet all his relatives. Sometimes he would wonder if half of India was related to his family. Hundreds of cousins & other relatives but not even a single friend. All day feasting & he was happy to indulge in lavish rich spicy Indian food after having continental for those many years. Family’s immense love started showing on his body & he gained enormous weight. With increase in weight there was a decrease in his interests and cheerfulness. He would go to visit different construction sites on behalf of his father and spend evenings listening to music in his room.

Trying to revive his old hobbies, he pulled out his acoustic guitar one evening & started straightening its chords leisurely sitting on the terrace. In the evening silence touched by some of its chords, he heard a soft humming. He stopped to hear the voice again which was louder & sweeter now coming from the adjacent terrace. What a beautiful & tender voice it was. Manav couldn’t stop himself from peeping in the other side. There he saw a girl sitting on the swing with a book in one hand & singing. This beautiful feeling was enough to wake him up early next morning. He had something new in his life.

While going out to work, he saw that girl coming out of her house. She was asimple but a very beautiful girl with a glow similar to a flower & tenderness of a fresh leaf. All day long, he thought about her and cursed himself for not being able to see such a beauty living so close to him. Then he thought of the best ways of approaching her but found none to be convincing. For the first time, he felt conscious about his being overweight. He could gather no courage to meet  the girl as he thought he looked unattractive. With this came another thought in his mind-Gyming. Why what else people do to reduce fat immediately?

He worked hard in gym for weeks altogether & even became conscious of his diet. But there was not much considerable reduction in his weight or flab. Disappointed, thought he will never come back and rather sit & eat all day. Forget about the girl, he Is never gona get her. While he was going out, he happens to see an aerobics class happening in the adjacent room. There she was dancing like a butterfly. He got his motivation. He had to come back & he did. If not for his workout, but for her. To see her few glimpses here & there.

Manika, completely unaware of Manav’s affections, but filled with hers, could take our different opportunities to see him. In fact, he was the only reason why she was at the gym. She had been following him since they were teenagers. All the years when he was abroad, unaware of Manika remembering him, she silently waited for him. She would peep in the gyming area to see him lost with dumbles when he would be least aware. Every morning she would peep out from her window to see him drive off & then hear him play guitar on the terrace till late night. She always thought he would never notice her as she was sober & simple.

One evening hoping to catch a glimpse of her, Manav was sitting on the terrace checking his Facebook account. Flipping through old memories at College, reading messages from his friends & feeling sad about being away from them. Just then a friend request popped up. Some unknown girl with Naitri (from the movie Avatar) as her profile pic. Navina Roz- the name was not at all familiar to Manav so he sent a message to enquire. Narina Roz dint tell much but just that she knows him well and it was time for him to know her too. Intrigued but not much convinced, Manav accepted her friends request. Manika was more happy than she had ever been in her life. This was the only way to get close to him & to know him better. And one day she may make him fall for her.

Days went by; Manav kept gyming with a hope to impress Manika & Manika kept chatting with Manav with the same hope. Navina became  good friends with Manav. He would share with her all his worries, anxieties &moments of happiness. But one thing he never shared with Navina was his feelings towards Manika;  His desperation to know her and be with her all the time. He liked chatting with Navika as he felt lighter & better.

Receiving some part of his affections, it was becoming difficult for Manika to hold herself anymore. She wanted to love & to be loved. Now was the time when she wanted to go ahead & try all her chances. So one evening she proposed him online. He was astonished & worried and what not. It was then when he had to tell Navika about his affections towards another girl which is unlikely to fade away but rather will ignite more with time. He liked Navika as a friend and loved chatting with her & he wished it would remain the same. For Manika, Manav had not rejected Navika but her .The fact that Manav could love someone else was more devastating than anything. She was feeling choked of painful emotions. She wanted to yell out, cry aloud so she ran up to the terrace. And there he was standing& waiting for her. Somewhere Navika made him realize that it was getting too late to keep his feelings to himself & that if he didn’t tell Manika about his feelings, it may go very late. So he jumped up her terrace to tell her right away.

Manav told Manika about his feelings that he had been struggling with from past one year. Manika was in tears when she told him that she understands as she has been struggling too from past ten years.

Remembering LEH

Smitten by the view

Carried by the wind

Pushed by the river

Caress by the spring

And when I met

This another world

It left me numb

A passive receiver

Astonished were my eyes

Unstoppable was my breathe

And only thing I could think

This was the real world

Such Is Life

And its darker than the darkness ever
heavier than the earth
breaks every bone in you
treats you very harsh

you given up broken & defeated
but it still leaves you not
you crawl as you have
no feet no spine

forgives you never for
the faults you never had
punishes you for mistakes
you never made

you are as grave as
a stone could be
as dead as a
dead would be

such is the grip
of a life
even death cant release
you from its' claws

The Final Encounter

I can see it coming over

Coming before time.

The wind which could blow people away

Had never seen it before

And even the skies were never

Never so blue & clear

& this fresh lush greenery

Was never to be seen

And this deep longing

To go back to the nature& lean

Was never bothering human mind

Not before this face off

Face-off between u, me &

The nature supreme

The stop watch is clicking

Counting the countdown

The final encounter between

Nature & we

Will she again be kind,

And set us free?

The Art Of Walking Away

For all those who always said
you were not worth a penny
not very few in number
they were surprisingly many

and carrying that negativity
that gloom, all the time
& nobody to stop them
from doing this heinous crime.

those poisonous scorpion
pointing stings at you.
leaving your chances of survival
reducing to very few.

but all this while
you were standing strong
& you never let anyone
or anything push you to wrong.

and then who cared about
what the world would say
by now you have mastered
the Art Of Walking Away.