Monday, May 16, 2011

No Progression But An Irretrievable Fall

I wonder why my soul was chained
When I should have been running free
Why was I pushed in the darkest of the darkness?
Where I just couldn’t see

Leaving me defeated and abashed
 In the middle of nowhere
With loads of disappointment & depression
Thickly filled in the air

This dark horrible torturous place
Was no less than an abattoir
There was no outside force fighting
But a silent inward war

It was a huge & impossible discipline
To suffer & learn surviving skills
All those who undergo this path know
That if you wish to survive, you must kill

Saw it, learned it, and faced it,
Been there, did it all
But then I suddenly realized
That it was no progression but an irretrievable fall

Thursday, May 12, 2011

An Important Lesson Learnt

In the summers of 2007, a small group of college friends decided to go on a pilgrimage trip to Sri Griraj ji. One had to walk 21kms to reach the place of worship. The group reached the place at midnight and started the journey barefoot. This time of the year was very unfriendly for the pilgrims. In fact, there was hardly anyone on the rood except this group & a handful of Sadhus. There was a set of twins, Amna & Kamna, who belonged to this group. Kamna was a fun loving & an extremely adventurous girl whereas Amna was a polite & homely girl. They both were very fond of each other & could never see each other in pain.

While the group was walking together, some picked up pace & rushed ahead from others. Kamna was in the lot. Amna, out of any sort of physical activity, was walking very slow & belonged to the last set of the people. They had been walking for one and a half hours without even a single stoppage. Amna, meanwhile, thought of resting for sometime, gain some strength and then catch up with her group. All members of her college group had moved ahead. It was only Amna who was left behind. She had closed her eyes, and could feel her soul palpating. It was not the tiring walk, but an unusual anxiety which was killing her. She started hallucinating about Kamna being attacked by a tiger. Dark night and such unpleasant vision was making her restless. She wanted to walk fast, reach her sister and see if she was all fine.

Gathering all her stamina, she stood up and started walking again. There was none to be seen around. Not even single human but giant trees. She felt them staring at her. She was not even sure if she was on the right way. She had already walked for 2 kms since, without even a single trace of life. All sort of horrible voices, coming from the jungle were haunting her all the more.

After some more time of useless wandering, she saw a man walking wearing saffron colored clothes, seemed to be a Sadhu. The mere presence of this stranger relieved her of almost all her anxieties. She was at least on the right way and had a possibility of meeting Kamna if she walked faster. This was some thing she simply can’t. Not at least with those blistered foot. But it hardly bothered her. All she was thinking of was Kamna & her well being. The man in the saffron notice her disturbed & asked what was her concern. If she was lost as she was all alone. Amna almost instantly blurted out all her anxieties & even about that bad vision she had sometime ago. She asked that man if such hallucinations were of any significance as she had never had them before but only on this pilgrimage.

The Man in the saffron said, almost preaching like some saint “no matter ho much we love our loved ones. No matter how much we care for them. We can never save them from the harsh lessons of life. Life has its own way of teaching and one must never intervene” what was he implying at, she had no clue. Finding her all the more puzzled, he said in a very soothing voice “you must not worry lady. Everything will be fine in the end. And there will be a n important lesson learnt”. This relieved her of all worries. She felt the feeling of detachment.

After walking for another two hours together, they heard loud voices. They rushed ahead to see what was happening. At a distance, they saw a group of people running away in all directions, crying out for help. Within a minute, there was no one to be seen in the scene but a ferocious tiger attacking a girl. There stood a short little girl with a huge stick in her hand fighting against that huge beast. What a deadly scene, but deadlier was the fact that this girl was none other than Kamna. Amna was dumbstruck when she saw her darling sister ready to be hunted down by a wild beast. She cried out aloud & tried to run to save her sister but the man in saffron held her by her hand. She tried to break free & run towards Kamna but then the man repeated his own words in a grave voice “we can never save them from the harsh lessons of life”. With her tearful eyes, she could not see anything happening in front of her. Meanwhile, Kamna miraculously kept on fighting the tiger for another couple of minutes till someone from the forest department shot at the beast. Amna was relieved to hear a gun shot. She could now see Kamna standing alive beside the dead beast. Amna felt her held hand loosened. With a smile on her face, when she turned to look at the man in saffron, she found no one. The man had appeared from nowhere and disappeared in the air. But Amna could still remember his words
“Everything will be fine in the end & there will be an important lesson learnt.”