Saturday, July 31, 2010
There is something really strong, provoking my senses
Pulling my hair, touching my neck, stretching my arms
Almost carrying me away.
The feeling has always been there
but was never so strong as it is now.
These sudden rounds of fantasies keep occurring through out the day
more than they ever did before
Leaving me midway real & virtual.
And I continue to stay in the same state for hours
Like it that way
Just hanging on longer than required
Ecstasy is what I experience these days,
Bliss is all around. But yet
there is this urge of running away from the real
and enter the virtual all the more.
There is no fear of unknown
but somewhere a hidden liking
I know such wilderness doesn’t suit my age, my gender & my profession
But when did I actually care.
The concern is that now it is growing really fast
& then there could be real consequences if the desires are not met dearly
I fear these consequences.
So here I promise myself a runaway trip
A trip to some beautiful unknown land
An entire union with nature & a satiating journey
Journey For My Soul, Journey To My Soul
Monday, July 19, 2010
I want to fall in love
again & again with you.
Its such a wonderful feeling
that fantasies appear true.
Those early days in a relationship
& those pangs of hesitations.
Wanting to wait for more,
ah love & its sedations.
Unfulfilled desires & hope
that "I would say it next time".
Attempt to write a love letter
those funny couplets which rhyme.
To keep on thinking all the time
what would be in his mind
& if he forgets to say good night
calling him unkind.
Unintentionally drawing a heart
whereever you go & sit.
unusually loosing appetite
whole day withpout eating a bit.
countlessly counting petals
"he loves me, he loves me not"
lying that you didn'y miss him
& then getting caught.
I wana feel it all
from hot sun to lovely rain
oh my lovely love
I wana fall in love with you again.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Imagine & it will turn true
thats what I was told to do.
To laugh & to sing
to fly wild on the swings
To run away all bare foot
amidst branches & shoot
To giggle unecessarily
look at the blue sky merrily.
Watching clouds & guessing shapes
those fresh garden pears, peach & grapes.
All fresh, laden with vitality.
Yes it all existed in reality.
Now gone are those days
those fresh morning sunrays.
All that is left behind
are the circumstances unkind.
Which prevails through our lives
Here no life can thrive.
Gone are the days of vitality
all we have is complete brutuality.
I crave to go back
with all my bags packed
To the same Garden of life
where my imagination can survive.
Where imagination can create castles
where I can laugh with no hassles.
I wish to run one more time
have hills around to climb.
To go breathless & yet continue
to reach the nature & get renew.
To lay down on the wet grass
while several hours pass.
I wish, I wish & thats the only wish
to embrace my life & give one last kiss.
Monday, July 12, 2010
I run faster than I did yesterday & yesterday I had broken my previous record & its been happening don’t remember since when.
It is all because one bright day I had promised myself that I would never waste even a single second of my life.
Sleep & meal time seem to be such a waste of time that I try my best to skip them for the maximum number of times.
My life is circular, everyday routine, seasons, months, years – all into their respective separate but yet connected circles- All vicious in nature.
I balance all like a clown in a circus.
Proverbs, quotes, theories about life deduced by people in literature is suddenly becoming relevant. I could never understand them during my college days but now I do, really well. I can give a lecture on each.
But you know what is even more annoying is the fact that everyone around is exactly the same- Ditto copies.
I tried so really hard to be different & I am sure everyone else did the same. But yet we all land up looking alike. Living similar, in fact, identical lives. Active participants of same vicious circle.
And to top it all, I don’t have a family to call my own. I don’t know if its an abuse or a blessing, but my life is so monotonous that may be a family could break it. But what if they bring their own set of circles.
Sorry but I can’t juggle anymore balls so its in a better to have no family.
Every evening I run away from work to home. Every morning I run away from the loneliness at home and reach office to work.
Life has made me an escapist I guess.
Cause I keep escaping always. Looking for a break through, from this maze which I have created for myself, but forgotten the way out.
Hey I need your help here.
Monday, July 5, 2010
I hope I get enough reasons, in my life, to laugh
I love to laugh.Its my favorite Act.
I do it often, throughout the day,
has been doing it for years now.
But unlike my other hobbies, it did not fade away with time.
thankfully, it didn't.
I can't imagine myself without that unprovoked giggle
That useless loud laugh.Useless for others, vital for me.
People around, tried so hard to shut me up
but this laugh doesn't seem to listen to anyone.
It pops out whenever it wishes
As if it has its own identity.An independant identity.
The mere thought of it fading away, scares me to death.
Life without this lovely laugh will actually be a death.
No matter how many obstacles it faces
it never flickers even for a second.
The problems in my life are really annoyed
of its frequent and abrupt occurance.
But this abrupt occurance is my strength
My only strength.
My laugh is also my best friend,who truely stayed
through thick and thin.My only companion.
I tried to infect many with this rare disease.
but it did not stayed with them for long.
They cured it with the common medication
of reasoning & seriousness.
May be this laugh was cured as easily as it is provoked.
Or may be it doesn't like their company,
so it keeps fleeing from their faces.
I keep cracking same old jokes to at least bring a smile
on their sulking faces
but in the end,I end up laughing
and they stay amused at my unusual capability.
I wish to laugh till I die
A huge lovely unprovoked laugh is what i wish to give to this world.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I have always felt Majestic.
since i was born till this date,
when i sit in a simple coffee shop.
Well nothing Majestic about this act
but my personality surely is.
I feel so because I have the power
to touch move and inspire people.
Only such people can lead a team
in a constructive direction.
No external influence or mechanism required.
No money but yes education is must.
Right now I may appear to be uselessly running
but this useless run would surely
take me ahead one day.
When people of my age would be
dealing with mid-life crises,
I would be free.
As i have always been
because thats what I choose for myself.
Thats what we all must choose for ourselves.
Go ahead .choose it.
You are really worth it
and then it will make you feel Majestic
the way I do.