Thursday, April 29, 2010
A long forgotten tale of friendship, love and separation
knocked at the doors of my memory.
An unforgivable betrayal haunts me again
making me feel really sorry.
It all started when we were very young
not more than fourteen- fifteen.
An innocent sweet and lovely affair
which was never before seen.
We would laugh over silly things
and laugh our hearts out.
Standing idle at the corridor
would shout each others name aloud.
Those silly fights and long talks
forgetting everyone around.
Dancing together for hours at once
on lovely mystical heavenly sounds.
To cry for no reason
and hold each other tight.
Those countless hours
spent on boarding dream flights.
Separation was the only thing
we could never imagine.
We would always stay together,
and love forever, we were pledging.
But life has its own ways,
its own reasons and predeclared destiny.
It had broken several hearts
and had separated many.
And now when life decides
to take a u-turn again.
Here he stands questioning my disappearance
and once again i could feel the same pain.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
What I m writing right now is a very unusual and uncomfortable feeling.
For the past five years, I was living a life of a cocoon.
By God’s grace I am a butterfly now and have decided to meet my loved ones.
As it was not possible to meet each one of them individually, I opted for an easy way out.
Joined a social networking site and find them all.
Was very happy to meet them, they too were glad.
Where were you? What were you doing? Were the only questions asked.
I replied all genuinely. However, the response was very amazing.
I understand that people are real busy in this city but then how does everyone appears online on that social networking site the whole day?
None gives a true picture of themselves.
May be they are not sure of their existence or may be because I have become a stranger to them.
But whatever the reason may be, this city appears to be more virtual than real.
Sometimes, I really wonder if these people really exist.
May be they all have turned into Ghost Writers. It’s very unreal, unbelievable and deceptive.
And all these days, I thought my dreams were weird.
Here, in this city, the reality appears to be weirder.
“Fact stranger than Fiction” is what I have seen in this city.
Monday, April 26, 2010
A number of feminist women, like me, are against men & their entire breed.
But if i shed off this feminist veil, i see you as human as me.
I find you as vulnerable as anyone of us may be.
You too have your own set of problems, own set of insecurities.
You too feel lonely and sob sometimes,
though you can't compete with us, cause we are tear factories.
You people are always told to be strong & never cry, but then how do you relieve your pain?
Women say that men hate to give commitment in a relationship,
i say, who would not,
if they know that they had to earn and feed a whole family for rest of their lives.
If i were you, i too would run away.
But you still show courage and finally marry, have children, feed them, and keep them well.
I admire you for your commitment.
You may not be as expressive as women are but you surely equally love.
You try to keep your girl like a princess and you somehow manage it too.
Yes, you are sometimes over possessive but that is deep in you.
Probably, that is how you show your love, which suffocates us sometimes.
We are two different genders accustomed to blame each other for every wrong thing.
Forgetting all that,
i would like to acknowledge your presence
cause without you i can never be.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Sometimes in the rush we forget to live...then later we regret the past but then there is nothing to be done....request to all readers of this blog to start looking around for life. In the race of life, don't ever forget to live.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I generally don't feel any pain when people go away.
When they decide to follow their own way.
For some days, that feeling of loneliness, i simply neglect it.
Don't want to waste my emotions over the people who made me feel rejected.
Not all, but when i think of some,
my whole body really becomes numb.
This numbness which takes me back to the days of my rejection
and then it also reminds me of my soul and its resurrection.
I have cried in the darkness of betrayal for days,
waiting for the divine light to fall on me as bright sun rays.
There was none to extend a helping hand.
i had made castles of my own with sand.
And when the high tide had taken it away,
not for a single second could anyone stay.
I stood up, mend it again and again
though tide being the only constraint.
Victorious i stood with a bright smile,
but when i looked around, there was only mud and slime.
It doesn't matter to me, as i am again hopeful.
i always believed and still believe that no matter what happens,
life still remains beautiful.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
As a woman we have two options.
Either be bold or stay shy.
If you stay shy, people would love you
as this is what they expect you to.
But if you are bold, there will be two things.
One, people would shy away from you.
Two, people will be scared of you.
If people shy away from from you, good for you.
If they are scared of you, they will try to hurt you.
And if they try to hurt you, you better be shy.
But whatever the world says
be what you really like to
bold or shy- none of them would make your life simpler.
So don't be either of them, just be a real woman.
The world is yet to meet one.
Monday, April 19, 2010
"It was not before he told me to write for myself, that i started writing. He said that write whatever you think has never been thought before. Write whatever you think is new and innovative. Let your thoughts take shape of words and phrases. Pen down what your heart speaks and one day the whole world will listen to you."
In our lives whatever we start afresh is inspired by something or somebody. We already have it in us but still need a jerk to spit it out. A child picks up crayons only when he sees a beautiful painting. He creates his own story when he hears other making some. A source of inspiration may be minuet or huge, but when inspired it can work miracles. A humble inspiration and an electric beginning are the ingredients for a great work in future. There may be many inspirations and many inspired but they all don't succeed. Only those who are truly inspired are eligible for success .
Thursday, April 15, 2010
My life is a bliss, a gift from God
yet nothing significant to applaud.
I keep praising Him
for showing His love and affection
and try to make my life reach ideal point of perfection
but it is not Him that i seek
well, while saying this my voice does gets bleak.
I seek the love which only a human heart can give
and it is vital for me to live.
The way i struggle with my words to rhyme,
i juggle between relationships which were mine.
I need a shoulder to cry on.
I wish to see someone reading newspapers in my lawn.
I want to cook and feed him too.
All day in his arms and nothing else to do.
Holding arms, running wild into the fields.
Oh God i so really plead
grace my life with love unconditional
love which stays forever and is not seasonal.
i am getting hopeful again...........
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
why are you veiled like a mystic beauty?
like some hideous creature, you crawl in my psyche.
What color is your heart - purple may be
because it never seems to throb.
is what i get from you as a reward.
You were so virtually mine
but virtual could never be real
i had forgotten meanwhile.
I follow you like crazy
left my life, started living yours
& you shy away from even looking at me?
What do they call it in your world
- being courteous may be?
well my world calls it - insensitive.
Insensitive - is the word
for those cold gazes of yours
which casts me like a stone
and freezes me as cold as white snow.
I crave to melt
melt in your arms.
I crave to melt into something insignificant
but only in your arms.
You are like a blood sucking moth
careless to my pains
& even my moans
cannot reach your dead ears.
I wish to drown, die early
cause now you notice me barely.
My verses my songs
never touch your heart.
You are so unreachable
my hope falls apart.
Show me some signs
some movements some words
so that i continue to hope.
Hope against all odds
hope against your coldness
against your wrath.
Please don't turn your back
i would extinguish
like a dying flame.
Don't stop yourself further
go ahead and for once
call out my name.
This happens when a writer falls in love with the character created by himself. He is puzzled between the question of what is real and what is virtual. This question has bewitched many and would continue to do the same, don't know till when. I suffered the same pain....and if you are a writer, it would infect you soon....
Monday, April 12, 2010
Its a crazy world out there.And you know what everyone is crazy about? They are crazy about perceptions.Unintentionally we create people out if are perceptions and unfortunately , those people mould themselves according to the same set of perceptions given by others. Some who try to breakfree are called rebels. But no one can actually breakfree, cause we sometimes don't really know which was constructed by a perception. For instance, A woman is a woman, not only because of her gender but more because of perceptions which were percieved by others. As a child we are given a list of do's and don'ts.Even before i reach my puberty, i am told to stay mild,talk slow,be nice and polite,reach home before it gets dark, look elegant and desciplined, be social and generous,forgive your brothers for hitting you or being abussiveto you only because they are boys and boys are like that. Five days in a month, i live a life of an untouchable. Any diversions taken by any women is never liked. i was told thousand times to that women like to shop - no matter how much i hate it, i go for shopping as that is what i am suppose to do as a woman. I was told that women are always physically less powerful then men and can hardly knock out men in physical fights. There were scientific research been done to prove that i am weaker.
Now some facts - Human body can bear only upti 45 Del(units of pain). But at the time of a child's birth, a woman feels upto 57Del. This is equal to 20 bones getting fractured at the same time.
Well if men can still think they are more powerful,suite yourself. We never really cared.
Will be back with some more facts........follow me........