Thursday, February 24, 2011

Some Magic & Some Bliss

Some magic and some bliss
And a lots of love around
Some life and some ecstasy
And happiness must surround

Some words and some phrases
And a lots more to talk
Some kisses and some embraces
And a lovely long walk

Some colors and some fumes
And a lovely piece of art
Some canvas and some clay
And a new work to start

Some visions and some dreams
And a reason to be alive
Some laughs and some smiles
And that’s how we survive

Some kins and some pals
And have something to share
Some hope and some faith
And have someone to care

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Putting In It All My Faith

Its fresh, its new
Its bright like a lightning
Thunderous like a thunderstorm
But its least frightening

I am amazed at the phrase
Those stream of lovely thoughts
That liveliness in every word
Continuous useless talks

Though this has happened before
Yet every thing seems so new
Its like a roller coaster ride
Every second passing really fast too

Loving every moment & movement of it
The closeness growing everyday
Getting romantic at the core
& soft till the brim I must say

But its too new & has no shape
I will have to calm down & wait
So as to mould it into something
Putting in it all my faith

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Make Sure Your Death Isn’t The Same

Crawl like a snail
Is something which I will never take

Hibernate for months
No I can never stay so numb

Hanging upside down like a bat
How can you ever think of that?

Is this all you have for me
I feel like laughing at your futility

But I dare not, since I am futile myself
I am no fairy no elf

Waiting for a day when I could respect myself
Self confidence & pride are hardly ever felt

Gone are the days when I could stand strong
& now you wish me to run a marathon

I have created dream a many
But don’t have the courage to make true any

The purpose of my existence has become the biggest question
I need words no more – I need some action

If I wish to become an example for all
I better learn to stand tall

& then extend my helping hand
To all those who wish to move ahead

I would like to be a light house in the sea
So whenever they seek guidance they can come to me

Such a life would surely be worth living for
Let loose your passion & let it soar

No matter how insignificant your today would be
Make sure insignificant tomorrow should never be

Life is only for once
Consider it as your last chance

We all were born without a name
Make sure your death isn’t the same

Let Be Me And Never Follow Thee

I look at them closely. Try to penetrate their souls with my vision.
Successful sometimes & useless many a times.
They have got into this habit of pretending.
Pretending to be what they are not and can never be. But yet they continue to try. Stopping them would surely destruct them. It will pierce through their hearts.
So shall we let them pretend. Or may be this is the right thing to do.
Today when nothing remains real, pretension is the new key, pretension is the new skin.
But then why is that I simply cannot get into this skin?
Why is that my heart refuses to accept this new habit?
I refuse to be what I don’t really want to be.
I refuse to stand upside down to impress the world.
I refuse to unnecessarily try to get into smart conversations to prove I have a better intellect.
I refuse to lie down when the tides are high
. I would rather ride them & reach the eternity.
I refuse to sell myself in this world of demand & supply.
When I am dead & gone, they can have my dead body & supply it accordingly to their needs but definitely not till I am alive.
People are prone to getting influenced & carried away easily which leads to their surrender.
But surrender I will never.
My qualities are not usual. So those who have eyes would be able to see.
Now if I have a nice heart; I need not cut my chest & take it out to show.
All I need to be – is just be and let everyone see.
Thousand pretensions there may be, but it is not my cups of tea,
Let me be me & never follow thee.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

still confused between brooding about my loss or blissfully enjoy this new love

When one is young in college days, life appears to be so promising & lusciously beautiful. I was still in high school when I had firmly decided not to study even a single year after high school. My only ambition was to marry ASAP, have lots of children & live as a home maker ever after. With a heavy quarter heart, I pushed myself to attend college lectures everyday. But very soon managed to get a handsome hunk who could not only help me bunk boring classes but give lessons on love making as well. It was then, when I could see the real beautiful world. Not with my own eyes, had borrowed his vision, his perception his sight. The way I had an ambition, he had one too, which was much greater than mine. He wanted to become a proud officer in the defence forces of our country & serve the nation till his last breath. He had love as the only element in him. Love for me, love for his family & his fellow citizens. he said that we all youngsters owe our lives to the nation. But I never thought so.

The year we got out of the college was very eventful. Our graduation & engagement were the first two celebrations followed by him clearing all military exams & interviews...phew. all so fast. Time to say goodbye & join the Academy. I cried buckets full but he was very happy. This was all he ever wanted. But what about me & my ambition. Well he had an answer to that as well. He promised to marry me once he completes his course & finally becomes an officer. well a mere thought of getting married was super exciting for me. So I forgot all worries & started shopping & planning for the wedding. Our families were happy over this union.

First posting in the services is supposed to be choice postings. It was obvious that he would take his first posting to his home town & then we would finally marry. But for some silly patriotic reasons, Mr Adventurer, took his first posting in a Naxalite hit area in Assam. I was so pissed off that I did not speak to him for next seven days which was killing for both. But then he always had an advantage of winning me away with his words. Just another year & that will be the end of his bachelor life. so I resumed to my favorite act – shopping.

Though he would tell me stories about various encounters, ambush, landmines & killings but I never felt scared until that day. A group of five men with him were send into a jungle for some search. It was 5 days since they did not come back. Their wireless sets were also not traceable. We all were informed about the same & were asked to reach that station. Another two days & no trace. Four days after their disappearance, another team was send to rescue the previous group. On the seventh day, they returned with few sacks. The sacks were full of several pieces of bodies. Blood dripping out of them. All mixed up, rotten. Filthy.

It took the forensic department to complete their research & fix up the mutilated bodies. The only thing which I could identify was his wristwatch which I had gifted him on our first valentines.

Damn. We were so close to getting married & live happily ever after. I had been waiting for it for so long & suddenly I was standing in the middle of a deserted forest with blood sucking flies all around me trying to identify a mutilated body which was supposed to be my lover.. For the country, he was just another soldier but for me, he was Everything. The one who taught me how to love & see this beautiful world. Life was over for me. I had nothing left in it. Absolutely nothing. I was as good as dead but I could still breathe. So I decided to get over that last string of life as it was incomplete without him. Went back home, took out sleeping pills from my mother’s cupboard, pop in all at once & locked myself in a room.

I was getting it. That drowsiness, that lovely calm sleep. I could sense the death approaching I heard his mother cry aloud “don’t go. I have lost my son. Don’t wana loose my daughter” it shook me from head to toe. All this while all I had been thinking about was I . What about my family & what about his family. They were my family too. By killing myself I would have brought an end to my pains but could not end theirs. Was it not the same thing which he was trying to teach me all this while? Love all

It was then that I decided to reject approaching death & choose life. when I opened my eyes I could see two mothers staring at me with hope still left in their eyes. We all live together now & happily ever after. But I am still confused between brooding about my loss or blissfully enjoy this new love