No Progression But An Irretrievable Fall

I wonder why my soul was chained

When I should have been running free

Why was I pushed in the darkest of the darkness?

Where I just couldn’t see

Leaving me defeated and abashed

 In the middle of nowhere

With loads of disappointment & depression

Thickly filled in the air

This dark horrible torturous place

Was no less than an abattoir

There was no outside force fighting

But a silent inward war

It was a huge & impossible discipline

To suffer & learn surviving skills

All those who undergo this path know

That if you wish to survive, you must kill

Saw it, learned it, and faced it,

Been there, did it all

But then I suddenly realized

That it was no progression but an irretrievable fall